Happy Days
My favorite year ever
It’s been a while, I know. I apologize. I’m hoping that things will be back on track now. There was some surgery, and then a recovery from surgery that took longer than anticipated… but that ended a while ago. After that, I just lost my groove. And actually, I did write like four different essays to share, but all of them had to be chucked because they were too political, too self-indulgent, or too whiny.
Anyway, I’m back now! I’m glad you’re reading!
Growing
I’m sending this out on November 11: Corduroy Day. Because 11/11 looks like corduroy, right? As I type, I am wearing a pair of corduroy pants and only just recently removed a jacket with corduroy on it.
It’s also a good waypoint between Halloween and Thanksgiving. Personally, I love Thanksgiving and I tolerate Halloween. If not for chocolate, I’m not sure I’d even like Halloween. So let’s hope that cocoa prices go down by next year. Let’s hope that prices for something, anything go down by next year.
One evening last week at about 7pm I submitted an application for a job that I was, honestly, completely overqualified for. The job asked for five years of experience, and I have fifteen. I had all the requirements, and from some perspectives, I was a perfect candidate. I would absolutely kill it at this job.
I received the rejection at 6am the next morning.
Eleven hours after applying, with no business hours in between, I was told no for a job I would have done well at, and that my resume made abundantly clear. I did all the things: I made sure that my resume included all the keywords in the job posting. I wrote a cover letter that showed I had done my homework on the company. I tried to make myself interesting (PhD work in Ohio, undergraduate work in Utah, and culinary arts in Massachusetts, starting a successful company...). And still, the artificial computer “intelligence” gave me the kiss off without troubling any humans. Except me, of course, I was troubled.
I have been rejected from many, many jobs. I don’t take it personally anymore. I don’t get worked up about it. This one was especially lousy, though. It’s just the timing: one night? Couldn’t they at least pretend to have thought about it?
A couple of weeks ago I thought maybe I should broaden my scope. I started off my career as a developer, and I am still a competent front end web dev (HTML, CSS, javascript, PHP, React, etc). But I haven’t been paid to develop a website in... a long time. I would be happy with a junior-level position, and I figured it might make me a more appealing candidate, pitching it as a career change and so a junior-level position would be ok. So I went hunting for junior developer positions.
There are no junior developer positions anymore.
This is not an exaggeration. On the days I searched, I found exactly zero positions for a “junior developer.” There were lots for senior devs, but it’s 2025 and all junior positions are now to be filled by AI. Which is going to be great in a couple of years when there are no junior devs ready to graduate into senior positions. This will be a crisis in the software industry, and even in most companies that do any software customization stuff. But that crisis is not my crisis. For me, it’s just another annoyance, another mild frustration.
I worry that it sounds like I’m whining. I’m not whining. In fact, I don’t have much reason to whine. So far this year, I’ve worked for a salary for two months, before the company went belly up and left us all wondering how a CEO could be so inept. In the time since then, I’ve applied for somewhere between 5 and 20 jobs a week, averaging around ten positions per week. That’s a lot of applications. I’ve had a few interviews, including some very promising ones. But it’s difficult when you’re a pretty senior-level guy at a time of market upheaval. I get it: companies aren’t rejecting me, they’re trying to navigate a new world of LLMs and AI and tariffs and masked men with guns patrolling streets and hauling people off into secret prisons. No wonder they’re moving slowly.
But despite current world events and a lack of employment, personally I’ve had a spectacular year. A great year. Seriously: 2025 might be my best year ever. Well, my best year except for the financial part. But in every other way, literally every other, it’s been an amazing year. Allow me to illustrate with bullets:
I’ve actually grown my marketing skills a lot. Playing with new tools, doing research, experimenting, drafting plans, practicing research techniques, building my own custom tools: I’ve grown a lot professional-knowledge wise.
My relationship with my family is great. Kate and I are closer than ever, and I’ve loved being able to spend time helping out my kids. I’ve been babysitting my granddaughter, and, honestly, she’s truly the greatest thing ever.
On a personal level, I’ve conquered some bugbears that have plagued me for many years. I’m more organized, more put together, more on top of things than any time in my life previously. Where I felt like Oscar Madison, but I’ve been able to internalize some of the good Felix Unger attributes. But I do still make references to things like a sitcom that went off the air in 1975. And yes, there’s obviously still a lot of growth needed here (see: no letters sent out for two months).
Spiritually, I’ve been able to attend the temple more, study scripture more, pray more, and serve more. Again: worth it.
I have the best calling in the Church. Yes, I loved being a missionary, and I have loved other callings since, but nothing holds a candle to what I’m doing now.
Creatively, I’ve developed a practice of poetry that has escaped me for decades. Now, I’m producing more work, and more work that I am approaching pride for, than any time in my life up to this point.
I’ve learned some other skills (video production, AI vibe coding, etc) that will surely come into play in the months and years to come.
But yes, yes, financially, this year is a disaster. It is going to take perhaps the rest of my working life to claw my way out of the economic pit that we’re sinking into. And yes, yes, we’re living through the collapse of the American republic. But yes, yes, this has been perhaps my favorite year ever. I have so, so much to be grateful for.
These are happy days, indeed.
Least Bad Poem of the Week
Poem for My Children In the evening, when cold probes the cracks under the doors and windowframes, you can sit, wait for worries to slip through spaces too small for wind, they will come when you are not busy, they will burrow into your pores squeeze through tear ducts calcify your bones and slow your heart. Still wait. Do not run into the arms of distraction wait and ask your fears: what is your worst? Destitution, they may say and poverty and want but you will shrug and say I began poor then death, they will say, but you will shrug and say of course we all will die, this is only sooner. Frustrated, they will say their greatest horror: loneliness, they say and for a moment you falter. Then remember he who is writing this poem. I will always be there, ready every moment, even now.
In this season of Thanksgiving, I hope that you’re feeling plenty of reasons for giving thanks. I am, as always, grateful to you for reading.
I plan to have a letter out at the end of the week with some links, and then start something next week that will take us through the end of the year.
All is well,
Jeff
One of the most interesting moves God ever made was when he rebranded Jacob he named him Struggle. He could've named him Ease or Contentment.
Glad to see you back !